Going up In Flames
by Laurenreynoldsisnotdead
Summary: Sorta AU Deals with Emily's feelings right after being undercover but right before joining the BAU...sorry I suck at summaries
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

Emily POV:

"I wanna talk to Sean," I said as they pulled me into the car.

As they shut the door, I looked out at Ian, a wave of guilt coming over me. He had no clue that the reason Interpol was knocking on his door was all because of me. I shouldn't have felt guilty though. He was a criminal. He had killed people, or had others do it for him; he had sold illegal guns that I'm sure eventually got countless people murdered. He was a cold-blooded monster. But yet, I was the one who felt like the monster.

I was silent as we drove away from the villa, but I heard the men talking into their earpieces, saying that everything was clear and that I had been extracted successfully and so on.

The villa was pretty far from the villa was pretty far from the city, so we mainly drove on backgrounds until finally making it to Florence.

The agent next to me answered his phone as we pulled out onto the main road.

"It's for you," he said, looking at me.

I nodded and took the phone from him.

"Hello," I answered, speaking for the first time since we left.

"Hello,darling."

It was Clyde.

"What the hell was that?" I demanded.

"What the hell was what?" He asked innocently.

"You know you could've told me you were coming today at the last check in," I continued.

"Then your reaction wouldn't be as believable," he explained.

"Believable? Clyde, you don't think I've been believable-" I argued.

"You were compromised and we had the information we needed," he said simply.

"Compromised? How was I-" before I could finish the thought, the light we were stopped at turned red, we began to go across, but when we did, so did a car coming from the other direction.

Everything froze as the car collided with ours. Smashing my door in. The last thing I heard was Clyde'a voice coming through the phone.

"Emily? Emily?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

EMILY POV

I only remember flashes after that. Bright lights. Sirens. Shadows and silhouettes. Pain and numbness.

Then there were memories coming in-between the flashes. I tried to keep my eyes open as much and as long as I could, but it wasn't working. I didn't have the strength. Plus, when I was asleep I didn't feel the pain of breathing. Of blinking. Of squinting to try and make out figures and my surroundings.

When my eyes opened for the final time, I heard the bearing of a heart monitor, which really was not helping my migraine. Neither were the bright lights. Everything else was blurred, including the three figures standing over me.

I opened my mouth to ask them what was going on, but it was too dry and nothing came out but a small whimper when even that small movement sent pains through my body.

"Look who's awake," I heard Clyde say. I matched his voice to the dark form on my right, but there was still someone next to and across from him.

"Hello, Emily," said the voice on my left. "My name is doctor McBride. Do you know where you are?"

"W-what?" I muttered, trying to get out the statement "what happened?" But it obviously wasn't working.

"A drunk driver missed a red light," said the final voice, who I now recognized as Sean. "Got the car pretty bad."

"You have a concussion and a few broken ribs, but you should be fine," said the doctor.

"Nothing you haven't dealt with before," I heard Clyde joke, but then they were silent.

"T-th-there's something you're n-not telling m-me," I stuttered.

They all shared a look before Clyde turned to me again.

"Emily, you're pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

I froze. It was like I was there but I wasn't. I was concentrating hard to process the information, but I wasn't thinking at all.

"Are...are you sure?" Was all I managed to say.

They all nodded.

I wasn't sure how I felt. I was happy, but I was scared. And that's when the guilt came over me again. I remembered how much Ian wanted more kids and now here I was, but he was being shipped off to some prison.

"Emily?" I heard Sean ask, probably noticing that I had zoned out.

"What?" I asked, getting back to the present. "Oh, uh, yeah?"

"You don't have to keep it," I heard Sean continue. But it wasn't a suggestion it sounded more like an order.

.

AN: Sorry my chapters are kinda short hope it's okay. Also thanks for the reviews so far you guys are awesome!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"I'm sorry what?" I demanded, looking up at Sean. He couldn't be serious. There was no way in hell I would kill another baby; it never even crossed my mind.

"You're telling me you were actually thinking about keeping it?" He asked.

"Um, yeah," I answered as if it were obvious. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you're an agent, not a breeder!" He said, frustrated.

I guess you could say Sean and I had never really gotten along. He was a complete control freak when it came down to it; big on rules and procedures and everything was black and white, right and wrong. Me on the other hand, I had my own opinions and I didn't need Sean to boss me around like some little kid.

"Maybe I don't wanna be an agent anymore," I said defiantly.

He and Clyde both looked at me almost shocked.

"Emily, listen to yourself right now," Clyde joined it. "You're about to give everything up for Ian Doyle's child!"

"No, that's not the only reason. Clyde you promised me Doyle was the last case. You said if I wanted to leave afterwards I could," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually do it," he said.

"I want out," I clearly stated, looking back and forth between their frustrated expressions.

**AN: So just a quick chapter I came up with! Thanks for the support so far! Don't forget to review! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**So I kinda stopped updating this because...well I don't actually know...but anyhow I reread it today and it got my brain juices flowing so I'm gonna try and maybe do more with it..I don't know lol**

"You're insane! You've worked you're whole life for this career and now you're just gonna throw it all away! And for what?" Sean exclaimed.

I thought about it for a minute. I honestly didn't know why I wanted out other than the baby..I just...I just did. I was tired of it. I was tired of becoming a new person whenever they told me to. I was tired of moving around. Hell, I've been jumping from country to country my whole life of course I didn't want to do it anymore! I just wanted stability. I wanted to feel secure for once. I wanted the family I had never had, and maybe, even though I knew there was no chance of Ian being there, this baby would give me that.

"I just can't do it anymore," I said, but the words almost felt foreign to me, like I wasn't actually saying them. "I don't want to. I gave everything I had into this team, into every case, into every profile, and now, there's just nothing left to give..

Sean still seemed pissed off, but Clyde seemed to understand, somewhat anyway.

"My resignation will be in the system by the end of the week," I finally declared.

There was no turning back now.


End file.
